Finding Balance
Faculty and Staff
Drawing on your own experience, what advice would you give to graduate students about balancing the demands of career, family, and other types of commitments?
Tom DiPrete
Professor, Sociology
I don’t have any magic advice concerning how to balance career and family. Partly it is a matter of setting priorities, and then trying to manage each of the two spheres in a way that is consistent with the priorities you have set. Partly it is a matter of being flexible. It is useful to keep in mind that allocation of time between these spheres is not zero-sum, strictly speaking. It is possible to get more work done by working longer, but it is also possible to simply work harder without extending one’s hours of work (this is the analog of “quality time” in the child-rearing context.) The achievement of greater efficiency at work is often furthered by setting specific goals for the day or the week. One can also get more work done (or interact more with family members) by cutting down on television or other “personal” activities. Finally, successful balancing is facilitated by avoiding stress, which I try to do by keeping the daily hassles in some bigger perspective. The problems of today always look smaller from the perspective of a month in the future. So try to look at the present-day demands from a more detached perspective; that can help one find a strategy for effectively managing these demands.
Gary Gereffi
Professor, Sociology
The most important thing I can say about balance is: you need it...and it’s a continual challenge! As a faculty member, one has to balance research, teaching, family, and personal interests. It may be helpful to think of this as academic and non-academic. On the academic side, balancing research and teaching is made easier if you can discover the synergies between these two activities. I try to bring my research and teaching closer together by creating course projects that allow the students to think of themselves as researchers, and to create new knowledge that they can share with other members of the class. I can use my own research experiences to help them do this.
In terms of family and personal time (e.g., exercise, hobbies), I find it helps to set times that are protected or ‘sacred’ space. For example, I don’t want to have a university e-mail hookup to my home because I want to leave that kind of work in the office. I plan around my children’s sporting events (I try to attend all their games and meets), and I believe that personal exercise time (e.g., jogging) is essential for productivity.
It is often difficult to fit everything into the 24/7 realities that we live with. So when things get out of balance (as they will), reinvent your schedule and try again with a new arrangement that works better. Because the demands of our professional and personal circumstances are constantly changing, no one set-up will be ideal for very long. Persistence in the search of flexibility is a necessary virtue.
Jehanne Gheith
Associate Professor, Slavic Languages and Literatures
Find an advisor or at least a faculty member with whom you can talk about these issues and who supports you whatever your views on what the right balance is. Ideally, this person will be your advisor, because then you won’t have to fight certain battles. But it doesn’t always work that way; in those cases, having a faculty member willing to talk with you, advise you, and perhaps intervene for you, is really important.
Peter Lange
Provost, Professor of Political Science
Finding “balance” between professional demands, family, community, and recreation is essential to sustained success and personal happiness. In fact, I think such balance is generally a sine qua non for both. As scholars and teachers, our professional careers are without external boundaries of time, attainment, or ambition. We can always do more, find failings in what we have accomplished, and perceive others to be doing more, faster, better. At the high levels of scholarly achievement that a Duke degree portends, these qualities of our careers are both our goal and our curse. Only by self-conscious awareness of this condition and of the corrosive effects it can have on our personal happiness and sense of worth can we recognize the critical role of balancing our professional careers with life’s other challenges, satisfactions, and rewards. But ultimately, without giving ourselves the opportunity to engage the latter, we will also find our professional successes diminished or we will have a sense of personal loss, even in the face of great professional success.
Hence, balance is crucial. The time and energy we devote to different activities in our lives will, of course, vary at different points in our careers, and with age and professional success, balance often becomes not easier, but harder; not less important, but more so. The patterns we set early, however, at the time of our seemingly and potentially all-consuming graduate careers, can be enduring. It is a good time, therefore, to examine the qualities of life as a whole person that are important to each of us in our individual ways and to assure that we establish our own way to a balanced and fulfilling-and successful-life.
Michele Longino
Associate Professor, Department of Romance Studies
A healthy mind in a healthy body. The considerable intellectual investment in graduate studies in these years, while profoundly gratifying, can also produce a lot of stress. Be sure to set up some kind of regular exercise and recreation routine. And stick by it, especially when you think you don’t have time for it. You and the work you produce will invariably benefit.
Toril Moi
Professor, Literature and Romance Studies
Balance—take it literally, do yoga! Balance on your feet, hands, shoulders, head! It is crucial to find the time to exercise in ways that help to de-stress busy people. Also, intellectuals tend to get bad posture and back and shoulder pain from all that hunching over the computer. Yoga is my lifeline during the semester. There are all kinds of yoga, from the most intense work out, guaranteed to challenge the toughest athlete (Ashtanga), to the most gentle, relaxing kind (“Gentle Yoga”).
It’s impossible to be a balanced person if one doesn’t find the time to take care of one’s mind and body. Exercise/meditation is often the first thing to go in a busy life. But the result is more stress and potential health problems. It is crucial to treat exercise time as just as important as departmental meetings and teaching. Schedule it in the diary; don’t treat it as an “extra” or a “luxury.”
Students
How do you balance the demands of graduate school with other parts of your life? Do you have specific strategies that help you keep your balance?
Mike Collins, Master of Arts in Liberal Studies
One of the best ways to balance the grind of graduate school and other parts of life is by looking for a “lighter heart.” I hesitate to use the word “fun” because some of the graduate students, faculty, and staff I’ve met would certainly not connect the word “fun” with what is going on in their lives academically or professionally. I recommend using humor to help you keep perspective. Comedians are the rock stars of the 21st Century. Find someone who makes you laugh and get his or her tapes, books, CDs, whatever. Collect cartoons and quotes. Make up outrageous analogies. What is life “like”? What is graduate school “like”? The more nonsensical the analogy the better it works. Along the same lines, keep attuned to your surroundings. We see, taste, smell, hear and feel funny things every day. The key to dealing with the grind is to be awake to life.
Amy L. Feistel, Asian/Pacific Studies Institute
I make time for the other parts of my life. Sometimes the demands are so great or the pressure is so strong that I have to schedule in time with my friends, time spent at my church or involved in community events. I think it is important to take time to relax and have fun. I try to be involved in the community so I can remove myself physically and mentally from work, really take a day (or a couple of hours) “away.” On my day “away” I don’t check my email and I don’t go to campus.
Jessica Hardesty, University Program in Ecology
I look at grad school as my job, not my all-consuming, self-defining, life’s obsession. I try to work eight hours a day every day, and six to eight hours on the weekend. This helps me avoid that feeling that no matter how much I do it’s not enough; eight hours is enough, and gives me a sense of accomplishment even if I haven’t finished whatever I’m working on. If I stick to my work day, I give myself permission to let extra things slide. This also keeps me from wasting a lot of time messing around on the internet, etc.
Suzanne Henderson, Religion
I am a third year Ph.D. in religion with three kids (9, 6, 6), a busy spouse, and a onehour commute from Greensboro. The many demands of my non-student life have helped me focus in my coursework and now as I study for prelims. Some of my strategies include: regular exercise—running four days a week boosts my physical, mental and spiritual well-being; working pretty much non-stop while my kids are at school and after they go to bed at night (we do early bedtimes), but not at all when they’re around from 3-7:30; faithfully taking Saturday completely off to be with my family (my spouse works Sundays); doing chores with my kids; charting out my work schedule, beginning with deadlines (papers due, exams set, etc.) and working backwards; no incompletes; no extensions; no excuses. I decided before I began the program that if my work wasn’t good enough within these parameters, then I shouldn’t be here.
Katherine Lambert, Cultural Anthropology
Balancing graduate school with the rest of life is perhaps one of the most challenging parts of being a graduate student, particularly if you have a full-time partner. I use a combination of several personal balance strategies. For example, I do daily or almost-daily aerobic exercise on the machines at the gym, running, aerobics and kick-boxing classes. I schedule exercise in the same way that I schedule going to lectures, colloquiums and other events. I also use yoga and acupuncture on a regular basis to help alleviate my stress levels.
Despite how hard it can be, I work to keep social outlets open—making time to see a movie, go for a cup of coffee, a walk in Duke Forest, meet friends for dinner or have a dinner party. It helps just to get out of the house, away from the computer, away from the library and books and be around other people. One way I make time for these activities is by setting a limit for myself and sticking to it. I block out the number of hours that I need to read each day, based upon what I absolutely have to accomplish and how many hours I have to be in class or taking care of responsibilities on campus. Once that time is up, I give myself a break. I also consciously give myself a day off now and then. Everyone deserves and needs a vacation from time to time.
The books, the learning will still be there tomorrow and the next day and the next. My motto is “Work hard and then rest.” It’s important to get plenty of sleep, but don’t use it as a procrastination strategy!
Having someone you can talk to—vent to, cry to, etc.—is extremely helpful. They don’t have to be in your department; in fact, it may be better if they aren’t. I’ve found the CAPS services very helpful in this regard because you can go in there, talk out whatever is stressing you or worrying you and then leave it behind. You haven’t burdened a friend who might be going through the same thing and what you’ve said will remain confidential.
Finally, if you have a partner or are in a relationship that you care to stay in, I find that making “dates” every week or so for dinner or the movies or something helps to keep the relationship on track. Even if you don’t do anything unusual with your partner, making a conscious effort to spend time together helps keep the lines of communication open, gives you a chance to connect and show support for one another, and a little TLC (tender loving care) never hurt anyone.
Linda M. Rupert, History
Yes, graduate school is a balancing act, but as the mother of two school-aged children, I feel that the girls really help me keep things in perspective. Eating a well-balanced dinner every single day, playing basketball or soccer for a half hour in the afternoon, renting a silly video once a week, feeding the ducks in Duke Gardens, and checking out area happenings off campus may be easier to do when you have the children as an excuse, but they are wonderful for keeping one’s sanity intact. The biggest lesson I’ve learned: good nutrition, regular exercise, and a few hours away from it all on a regular basis actually increases my productivity.
Jennifer Talarico, Psychology
I always take one day (usually Saturday) and do no work. No matter how much reading I have to do or how much data needs to be analyzed, on Saturdays I just try not to worry about it—I watch college football, I go out to eat, I wash my car, I go shopping, but I don’t do work. And, more importantly, I don’t feel guilty about it. Just one day off isn’t that much to ask and it helps me work better the rest of the week.
Rebecca Thurston, Psychology
This is a great question. As for me, I try to actively cultivate outside interests, find what really helps me unwind, be sure to take care of the basics (sleep, good food, exercise, nurturing relationships). Most of all, I try to keep in mind that life will not end if I somehow don’t get the Ph.D. Perspective and sanity. There are a lot of forces pushing you to lose both in graduate school, but the key is to realize that they are both way more important than any piece of paper.
Jennifer Lynn Woodruff, Religion
I find some sense of balance in: keeping in contact with a supportive family network, including parents, sibling, and boyfriend; hanging out with close friends with whom I intentionally do many “nonacademic” things such as going out to eat, shopping, going to Bulls games, etc.; cultivating extracurricular activities and friendships that are unconnected to Duke, particularly at my church for social fellowship and spiritual sustenance; being an avid sports fan; balancing exercise and diet through yoga and healthy eating.